Whenever I watch a show, one thing that always bugged me was when someone said “I’m not in love with him/her anymore, therefore I want a divorce or separation. I want to explain why it’s impractical to be “in love” all the time.
Remember that feeling where your palms are sweaty, your stomach is full of butterflies, you feel as nervous as hell and just want to spend every waking moment with the person you love? That’s being in love, and I am here to tell you its alright not to be in love with your romantic partner all the time.
I’ve heard people use the excuse “I still love him but I’m not IN love with him anymore”, and that’s a reason to split.
Let me just say that I believe being in love has a purpose, and once that purpose is served, we will feel less of it.
Ever notice that we tend to get homesick when we’re away from home, but once we’re at home, we don’t anymore? That’s because our emotions probably helped us to achieve the purpose – going back home. Being in love is perhaps our way of trying to be together with someone permanently, or I should say, long term. It gives us all these crazy, yet good emotions, to help us do everything we can to be with this person.
Think about it. Being in love is INTENSE, the emotions are, at least. I think such intense emotions must take a lot of work for your body feel this way. People always say it’s bad to be stressed or angry, but I think it takes just as much effort to stay in love. I believe that when you’re in love, it’s for a good purpose. That’s before you really feel that secure in the relationship and you feel as if you may easily lose or not even be with this person.
Your intensified emotions are to help you stay with this person, because it’s our nature to want to find love, just like it’s our nature to love being loved.
If all that “in love” emotions are really just to help you stay with your loved one, then why should it still stick around like a stick in the mud after you’re nice and secure with your, let’s say husband or wife? That’s the theory I have as to why many married couples say they’re not in love like they used to, but they love each other.
Plus, added with the fact that once we begin spending a lot of time with others, we eventually let our own ego get in our way, which then can cause a lot of arguments. That’s why a lot of people say that relationships take work, because we have to cool down what “we” want sometimes, in order to compromise with the other.
My point is, I don’t believe we should lose interest in being with our partners just because we’re not “in love”, because I doubt any person in history would spend all life feeling that intense, in love feeling we felt as teenagers, staring at our crush.