When life changes without us informed, or when we are forced to change, it’s as if our mind goes into a state of panic, and we hate it.
The good thing is – people are adaptable. No matter how hard the change is, we will, eventually adapt. But that doesn’t really stop us from hating the transition. What are some ways to make it easier?
Repeat the Positives
I know it’s much easier to focus on what’s terrible about the change, but at times like this, it’s very important to write down a list of the positives that will come out of the change and just repeat it over and over.
Grieve for the Loss
You will need time to grieve for the old thing, whether it was a life, a job, a place you lived, a concept, etc. Remember the reason why we hate change, it’s probably not because we dislike the new, but it’s because we hate losing the old.
Why don’t we get sad about vacations, yet when we have to move somewhere permanently, we often get scared and hate it? That’s because on a vacation, you’re exploring somewhere new without losing where you lived, whereas moving permanently means you won’t be in contact with your friends anymore, or everything you have known. It’s a loss, and humans hate losses.
Grieving is a process that will take a set amount of time, and nobody can really take it away. Each person deals with it differently and it’s a different amount of time.
Hiding the change from people who are directly affected will really take a toll on your own mental health, as you’ll probably be left feeling guilty.
There are more than one way of telling people these things. If it’s too hard to say it face to face, there’s always writing. The paper and pen hasn’t died yet (I hope).
Know what you are Expecting
People are very scared of the unknown and not knowing something often kills us (in panic).
We need to know everything we can about this change, what it is, where it will lead us, exactly what the process is, what it’s like, everything. If you have the internet (which I am sure you do, since you are reading this post), I recommend for you to research everything you can about this change – if it’s something researchable.
Once you know more about what’s coming, you are likely to feel better about it.
Talk about it and Release those Feelings
I often say that sharing a problem often halves the burden. Of course, it’s probably best to talk to someone who won’t be emotionally attached to the situation, but can offer some advice or just consolidation. Sometimes, you just need to release those thoughts and feelings to feel better.
Often in my experiences, trying to push it away doesn’t help and often ends up making you feel worse.